Be My Escape
by SpiritMusician
Summary: A breif summary of Remus Lupins school life from meetings to furry little problems and even animagi. Songfic based on the song Be My Escape by Relient K. Disclaimer- don't own Harry Potter.


Be My Escape Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter

Just watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince 7-16-09

Be My Escape by Relient K

**I've given up on giving up slowly, I'm blending in so  
You won't even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate**

It had been a blessing for Remus when he had received his letter from Hogwarts. He had always believed that due to his condition he would be denied the education that every other Wizarding child in Britain would receive at the boarding school. After all, who would let children live in the same place as a bloodthirsty, man-eating monster such as him; no one in their right mind. That, of course, brings to question the sanity of the headmaster – Dumbledore. Remus simply assumed that he was getting on in the years and made a mistake in sending him a letter. It came as a shock when the headmaster showed up on his doorstep and offered him a muggle candy. After politely refusing he had a long talk with the man and his parents.

"It is no mistake, Mr. Lupin, your son is an exceptional young man and I believe that he deserves the same education and opportunities that all other children receive." Dumbledore had said, his eyes staring straight into Remus' father's and twinkling. After that he was ecstatic that he was allowed to go to school; even if he couldn't make friends for his time there.

**This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption  
because I know to live you must give your life away**

**And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and  
I've been locked i****nside that house all the while you hold the key  
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me**

He had just gotten situated in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express; one furthest to the back. Remus had enough time to open an exceedingly large book when the door slammed open with a loud "Bang!". In the doorway stood two boys, first years he guessed, both with black hair, the one on the left was wearing glasses over his hazel eyes and had messy black hair while the boy on the right was overall more well groomed. He had straight black hair that reached his shoulders and icy grey eyes that seemed blue in the lighting. Both were panting as they proceeded to enter the compartment and fall onto the seats. That was the first time he met James Potter and Sirius Black, and later at the feast Peter Pettigrew, and despite his self warning he couldn't help but be drawn to those three boys; The Marauders.

**And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
I gotta get outta here  
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
I gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape.**

By second year he knew his friends were getting a little suspicious of him. How could they not? He disappeared every month and always had a lame excuse ready for them when the time came. Remus knew sooner or later he would run out; there were only so many times his cat could get hurt, his mother be sick and his extended family died. He had warned himself though, before school started, he shouldn't- _couldn't_- have friends, letting people close made him more vulnerable when they left him. He knew that pain well; it had happened enough since he received the bite. But he wanted to be normal, even if it was all a lie- a sick, cruel dream that would crush him when he woke up- he _needed_ to seem normal… if just for a while. Every night that year he silently prayed for his friends, the Marauders, not to find out, at least for another term. Only for a while.

**I'm giving up on doing this alone now  
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how  
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there  
And this life sentence that I'm serving  
I admit that I'm every bit deserving  
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair**

Third year was a year full of drama and friendship. He hadn't thought it possible for his entire life. Someone had accepted him; three someones. His best friends. They had gotten even more suspicious throughout the summer holidays because of his request that all visits to and from his friends should be within a range of certain dates, he had used the excuse that he had family things to do during those times, but based on the responses he received back two of the three didn't believe him much. On the train ride back to school they had tried to corner him in a game of truth or dare but a passing prefect had heard Sirius daring James to steal Lily's books and had quickly put a stop to the game.

It had been three months and three moons since they arrived back at Hogwarts and Remus had thought his friends had given up on finding out his secret. That is, until he overheard them in the library under James' invisibility cloak searching for books on monthly illnesses for males- Sirius had insisted that he could be a girl in disguise, for which James had soundly smacked him in the head. Remus had retired before they got back to the tower that evening and attempted to think up a semi-plausible excuse to use for the day after tomorrow. With the moon so close he was getting anxious, and that always made the wolf rougher than normal.

The moon finally came and he had to go see Madam Pompfrey in the hospital wing. He had decided to tell James, Sirius and Peter that one of his relatives had been attacked by the followers of the new dark wizard, Volde-something. They had seemed to believe him at the time, if he wasn't so afraid of the upcoming transformation his rationality would have most likely been on to them. But alas, he was afraid and so he didn't catch the looks they sent each other or the faint sounds of rustling following him down the corridors to his destination. After he was lead out to the grounds my the matron, he ducked into the tunnel that would lead to his prison for the next few hours. The moon would be up soon.

By the time he realized he wasn't alone it was too late. The other three boys had thrown open the trap door just as the moon began to rise from behind a group of clouds; all Remus could do was scream. As he lost his sanity he remembered thinking that he would be back home before nightfall the next night if he was lucky, if not… the ministry would have a new case and he would most likely never see the moon or his parents again.

When Remus awoke the next morning he found himself staring at the ceiling of the Shrieking Shack and feeling pain throughout his entire body. What surprised him was that the pain wasn't nearly as bad as it usually was before Madam Pompfrey tended to him. He tried to sit up but grunted in pain at the wounds bound on his chest and arms. He felt a warm hand gently pushing him back against the torn mattress and pillows, his eyes were blurry as he tried to see who was with him. The hand was far too small to belong to the matron. As he sniffed the air he froze realizing that he smelt his friends in the room with him. His first instinct was to run but as he was unable to do that he closed his eyes to pretend that he was having a nightmare. It didn't work; the pain kept a constant reminder that he was very much awake and very much alive.

Remus didn't know when but he had somehow drifted off to sleep again, for the next time he opened his eyes he was in his usual bed in the corner of the hospital wing. He felt better than he had that morning and his vision wasn't blurry any more. He had wished it was. Standing at the end and sides of his bed were the three people that he cared for most outside of his family, and they did not look pleased with him in the least. Sirius was the first to notice he was awake and informed the other two, making them crowd around and start asking Remus how he felt and if he was alright now in concerned tones. Remus was confused. He distinctly remembered seeing his friends there when he transformed the previous night and they had most definitely seen him. So why were they acting like they still cared for him? They had just found out that he was a monster, tainted, bloodthirsty, and a disgrace. He must have shown his confusion on his expression because the boys backed off and James sat next to Remus, his hand on Remus' shoulder in a comforting way. Sirius smiled lightly and Peter offered a weak smile. Together they told Remus of their theories and their research, and finally their discovery of his condition. Remus must have started crying when they told him that they honestly didn't care that he had a 'furry little problem'. That was when they became brothers.

**Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and  
I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key  
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me  
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
I gotta get outta here  
Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake  
I gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape.**

Fourth year was much the normal routine of every student. The only difference for the Marauders was that three often disappeared without a trace for hours or were spotted in the library actually studying. During Christmas break Sirius showed up at the Potters' and told James that he had run away from home because he could no longer stand it there. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had been happy to take Sirius in claiming that he was always like their second son. By the end of the year the Marauders had pranked and tortured the Slytherins enough for a lifetime, though they weren't about to stop, and had grown even closer together.

**I am a hostage to my own humanity  
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made  
And all I'm asking is for You to do what You can with me  
But I can't ask You to give what You already gave**

Fifth year had to have been the second best year of his life at Hogwarts, the first being third when he was accepted by his friends. He had started to worry that his friends were finally realizing how dangerous he was because of their constant unannounced disappearances. Remus wanted to confront them about it, but that would have made him a hypocrite. He decided to wait for either an explanation or the worst case scenario. It was the fourth full moon of that year and he hadn't seen James or Sirius all day, Peter had been at breakfast and lunch and had wished him luck for that night, but he couldn't help but feel slightly put out that his other two best friends didn't bother to even show him their faces any more. He had just settled down once again to undergo the dreadful mutation from man to wolf when his enhanced hearing picked up the slight scuffle of feet on wood. He nearly had a heart attack when his three friends appeared before him from underneath James' cloak. Remus began panicking and yelling at them to get out or else they would most likely die, he became angry when Sirius had the nerve to laugh to his face about dieing from a werewolf attack.

That night he found out what was keeping the teenage boys so busy and studious and he called them crazy and stupid and just plain _dumb_. They had become illegal animagi for _him_. That night he had never been happier on a full moon. Moony was happy.

**Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and  
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key  
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me  
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
I've gotta get outta here  
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
I've gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging  
You to be my escape.  
**Sixth year brought with it trouble between the Marauders. The Dark Lord had gained power and was now a serious threat; many were terrified of him and his followers. Students' families had been attacked, including Remus'. Fenrir Greyback had returned to his home in the country to finish of the Lupin family over the Christmas break. Remus had been with the Marauders at the Potters' home. When he found out it took the others three weeks to get him back to a semblance of normal. Just when everything was settling down again Sirius had to make things worse. James had been dating Lily since the start of term and Remus was in a depression, Peter wasn't so much fun for Sirius to hang out with so he took to waking the halls of the castle thinking. He hadn't been paying attention when he bumped into Snape. They started arguing. Snape accused the Marauders of abandoning each other and being like strangers while claiming to be thick as thieves. Sirius couldn't take it. He hadn't pranked or had a quidditch related conversation with James in days, Peter just agreed with him and Remus wouldn't speak more than five words in an hour. He hadn't meant to tell Snape Remus' secret, he was just so… so… so _angry… _so _alone_.

Thankfully James had been able to save Snape before Remus hurt him, but the damage had been done, Snape knew Remus' secret; Sirius had betrayed Remus and the Marauders. Remus was devastated.  
**I fought you for so long  
I should have let you in  
Oh how we regret those things we do  
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin  
But so were You  
So were You**

Seventh year, the last. The Marauders had been able to come back together during their second month back at school. The fear of what was to come was constantly with them though. They had suspicions that one of them was a traitor to the light side, but they never said anything. They had no idea how their lives would turn out. For the rest of the school year and the next three years they would be together, through thick and thin, they were the Marauders. And Remus couldn't have been happier than when he realized he had three people who, despite their faults and whether or not they fought, cared for him, no matter if he had a 'furry little problem' or not. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were together, a family and happy. Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and James Potter, the Marauders, friends, brothers.


End file.
